Day 1 - Dear Diary, I think it is time to set down my deep thoughts so that when I am gone, My legacy shall live on thru the ages. I am so great!
Day 10 - Dear Diary, sorry I haven't written for so long, but for some reason deep thoughts are not happening. In other news, I went to the local event and made two new people cry. Go me.
Day 28 - Dear Die-ary, this deep thoughts thingy is harder than I thought. I tried to lecture my apprentices on how hard it is to be brilliant, but they kept giggling at me. I hate them. I'll make them judge the Pennsic arts competition all by themselves as punishment.
Day 29 - I have taken another apprentice! He squeaked a bit when I forced him to write the contract in his own blood, but he quieted down after the fifth paragraph. It's a good thing I have lots of other apprentices; this one's a bit heavy when he's unconscious.
Day 35 - I went to the local dance event and judged the dancing even though there was no competition. I reduced the dance master to tears in less than ten minutes - a new record. After he ran off, I yelled at taught the dancers until they got every step exactly right. After all, we're not here to have fun. Well, except for me - I had lots of fun.
Day 37 - I dressed all my apprentices in identical pink satin Elizabethan outfits to coordinate with my black Elizabethan. The guys complained until I showed them the section of their contract where it says they agree to be accessories at every event. I'm so cool. Boy, do they look stupid, though.
Day something - Judged broowing cimpe cumpe compitishun at local event. Los' of luvly peeple.
Day 45 - Euphoria caused by heavy sampling of honey mead at event yesterday caused me to be way too generous with the scores, and I only made one person cry all day. Damn. No more brewing competitions for me!
Day 52 - I made seven people cry at the event today, and it wasn't even an official event. I think that's a personal best. Yay me!
Day 72 - The King looked at me funny today in the Laurel meeting when I said we had enough Laurels in the kingdom. I may have to dig up those old photos of him in a compromising position with the Kingdom Herald again.
Day 86 - Dearest Diary, at last! I have a date for Friday night at Big Bob's House o' Food with a nice Laurel I met on the Authenticity.boo.snark.snark.snark newsgroup. I hope this one's better looking than the last guy - God, save me from more Pelicans.
Day 88 - Dear Diary, I am soooooo sad. This guy was a loser too. He didn't know anything about the Irish Wars, and he thought the Paris Gardens was in France! Will I ever find someone who truly deserves someone as incredibly cool as me?
Day 105 - Stupid diary. I can't think of deep thoughts when I'm writing on non-period paper, that must be it. My apprentices are laughing at me behind my back, I know it. Hate everyone. Poisoning is period, right?
Day 107 - I caught my apprentices reading my diary. I must kill them all.
Day 108 - Dear diary, I must destroy you. If you fell into the wrong hands, people might find out that I got my Laurel through blackmail, that I don't have any skills, and worst of all, that I don't have any deep thoughts at all.
Oops. I probably shouldn't have written that in waterproof ink.
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