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Merchants please note:
Those merchants at SCA events who have paid the hefty compensation fee to the Grand Secret Attack Laurel Pooh-Bah may display this sign to warn all roving bands of Attack Laurels that your merchandise (yes, even the non-period junk) is exempt from seizure.
The things we do to make obscene amounts of money. *sigh*
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| ATTACKS EXEMPT FORM
ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
ATTENTION ALL ATTACK LAURELS:
THIS MERCHANT HAS PAID VAST AMOUNTS OF MONEY TO THE GRAND ATTACK LAUREL POOH-BAH SO THAT THEY CAN SELL THEIR CRAPPY JUNK IN PEACE WITHOUT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH ATTACK LAURELS STANDING AROUND SAYING THINGS LIKE "MAN, THIS MERCHANDISE IS TOTALLY NON-PERIOD, FORSOOTH!" AND "WHO BUYS THIS STUFF, ANYWAY? PELICANS?".
NO MATTER HOW TEMPTED YOU ARE TO SEIZE THE MERCHANDISE BECAUSE IT'S CRUSHING YOUR DREAM, YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO TAKE ANYTHING AND SELL IT LATER ON E-BAY.
PUT THE ALUMINUM TANKARD DOWN AND WALK AWAY NOW. THE GRAND POOH-BAH IS WATCHING YOU.
VIOLATORS WILL BE STRIPPED OF THEIR ATTACK LAUREL STATUS AND FORCED TO CLEAN THE PORT-A-POTTIES WITH PERIOD MOPS AND BUCKETS.
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